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Promote with pizza

By Chris Williams. Published: 29th Apr 2002, 22:15:08 | Permalink | Printable

We love pizza. We'll do anything for it.

Are you a RISC OS developer? Do you want your product promoted? Does the thought of forking out for adverts and flyers make you to go pale and weak about the knees? Although, can you afford a pizza or two?

If you said 'yes' to the pizza then drobe.co.uk is all you need. Yes, using our unique Pizza Bribe Slice System (PBSS), you can secure all sorts of plugs, favours and special articles. Depending on how much pizza you buy the drobe.co.uk team, we'll bend over backwards to get your product into the household of every RISC OS user. Refer to the table below and drop us an email if you wish to initiate a dialog and location of nearest the Pizza Hut.

One to two slices
We'll prioritise any news article for you, ensuring you get the most hits.

Three to four slices
We'll let you check the article and edit it to make your company appear in the best light. We'll also personally recommend your product and insist to our readers that their lives are incomplete without your solutions

One whole 9" pizza
We'll get one of your employees or one of our sufficiently biased editors to do an interview with your managing director. You get to choose the questions and answers and we'll put you up in a 5 star hotel for the night so we can discuss in style.

Two or three 9" pizzas
We'll remove up to 3 articles from our database for you and allow you to choose a rival company for us to slag off day and night whilst heavily promoting your company. We'll even decorate your house and look after your dog whilst you go on holiday.

Any number of 12" pizzas
We'll sell everything we own and become your servants. The money we make from selling off our treasured belongings and property can be used to fund your next advertising drive or a fast new car for your good self - whatever tickles your fancy. We don't care, you own us.

Disclaimer: if the pizza has tomato toppings we will instead slag off your company till the day we die. Oh and we'll eat the pizza too.
Disclaimer 2: Subject to terms and conditions. We may do none of the above.

Got it?

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This sounds like a great idea.

Is there an option for applying the AU spellcheck algorithm on obligatory posts mentioning our competitors?

Will you only work for Pizza Hut pizzas? -- xyzzy, Brighton

 is a RISC OS Userxyzzy on 30/4/02 2:22AM
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What about a vegetarian option or non-tuna. I am all in favour of bribery and corruption to sell products, but I don't want to be held responsible for damaging the environment ;-) Think about the ethical dilemmas you have created?

 is a RISC OS User on 30/4/02 8:46AM
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Presumably its got to arrive cold and 2 years late as well....

 is a RISC OS User on 30/4/02 8:47AM
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One night in a five star hotel for the price of a pizza, not bad.

It's a shame i haven't got a product/service to plug :-( -- Kev Smith, Leeds

 is a RISC OS UserAnimaL on 30/4/02 10:33AM
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What could be better to promote the Risc PC pizza slice?

 is a RISC OS User on 30/4/02 3:54PM
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i dun know what to say bouts this one

 is a RISC OS User on 30/4/02 7:29PM
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Does this work for companies who just use RISC OS? 'cos we could do with someone to fit out our shop and 2x 9" pizza's 'd be far cheaper than getting someone else to do it :-)

-- Kate, Bristol.

 is a RISC OS User on 1/5/02 12:36PM
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